“I don’t understand it,” she exclusively told Us Weekly in May. “I mean, I’m trying to compromise, but I don’t think I’m still up to that five times a day thing. That’s too much for me.”
Fans watched the couple’s intimacy issues play out during 90 Day: The Single Life, which premiered in February. Colt told Us that they are “always going to have to work on” their intimacy struggles, even as a married couple.
“I feel like it’s just something that we have to work on. It’s two parts, really,” he explained. “I think just meeting in the middle [is important]. I feel like understanding [that] it’s not just a one-sided. [It’s about] finding [a] compromise.”
Vanessa noted that Colt, who fans saw propose to her during the May 9 episode of the reality show, has been “working on it” daily. The pair, who have been engaged since November 1, noted that they are both committed to learning from their past marriages in order to make this relationship work.
“I felt like I really wasn’t loving like myself, caring for myself, a lot in the past. And more recently I focused more inward so that I don’t need to rely on other people so much,” the 90 Day Fiancé alum explained. “And I think moving forward in any relationship I have, I’ll just be able to handle anything better.”
Vanessa, for her part, pointed out that the duo are handling the intimacy issues “pretty well” right now.
Despite their ups and downs, the couple revealed that there is something special about one another that makes them willing to work at their flaws.
“Vanessa is completely different from any other girl I’ve ever dated or been with. She’s very patient. I feel like she’s the first person to sit down and just listen to me and figure out like who I am and like that person honestly,” Colt, who was previously married to Larissa Dos Santos Lima, told Us. “She never really wanted to change me. [She] just [wants] what [is] best for me. I felt like around her, I was just allowed to become more and more myself and develop more confidence. It’s just the best feeling in the world, honestly.”
Vanessa praised her fiancé for helping her break out of her shell while on the TV show, saying, “I was very shy, you know, being on this show, I was very hesitant to do it. He just pushes me to do things, to get out of my comfort zone and I think I need that.”
When it comes to bettering their relationship as a married couple, both Colt and Vanessa said that “cooperation” and “communication” are key.
Colt added that “making sure we’re on the same page and understanding that [one] partner doesn’t necessarily have to fulfill everything for the individual” is something he plans to focus on during this union.
“I think in my last marriage, I expected a lot from the other person and this time I’m going to have more realistic expectations,” he continued. “We can make it very well. We can fight, but [then] we can resolve our issues and move on.”
Vanessa noted that while her initial trust issues with Colt haven’t completely subsided, the TV personality has made big strides in that department as well.
“He’s done a lot. I mean, he’s given me passwords to everything,” she joked. “He’s been super transparent, handing his phone ever. I just need little things like that to help earn that [trust] back.”
Colt and Vanessa’s trust problems stem from the fact that when they got together, he was dating Jess Caroline. According to the reality star, however, his relationship with Vanessa is different because they had a solid friendship before becoming romantic.
“Having a strong foundation with friendship definitely helped us in our relationship and that it’s something I never really had before,” Colt said. “And I love it. Let me tell ya.”
That friendship led to an engagement and although they couple already live together — alongside Colt’s mom, Debbie Johnson — Colt told Us there’s no “time limit” on when the wedding will happen. He did, however, tease a very “unique” celebration to match his personality.
90 Day: The Single Life and The Single Life Pillow Talk are streaming on Discovery+.
With reporting by Christina Garibaldi