It had all the makings of a modern fairy tale: girl meets boy on summer vacation, they become best friends, fall in love and get engaged, with reality TV cameras capturing every intimate moment along the way. So when Carl Radke suddenly ended his engagement to Lindsay Hubbard less than three months before their November wedding date, Summer House fans were shocked — and so was Hubbard.
“I was completely blindsided,” says Hubbard, 37, explaining that Radke never gave her a concrete reason for calling off the nuptials. “He blew up my entire life. I was crying, I was angry, and I had to find closure on my own. Now I’m at a place where I feel really good about moving on.” Hubbard sat down with Us at Daintree Rooftop & Lounge in NYC to share more about her devastating breakup, the healing process and how she’s beginning to find joy.
How have you been doing since confirming your split in September?
The first month, I allowed myself to feel all of the feels: go through the sadness, the pain, the whiplash. I process [things] by talking about my emotions, and my friends allowed me that space. I was able to regain my strength and [the] confidence of like, OK, I can do this. The way that Carl handled everything was such an absolute betrayal of my trust, and when that happens, it makes it easier to pick yourself up and put yourself out there again.
So you didn’t have any idea this was coming?
Every couple has normal arguments, but nothing that would’ve been so drastic as to break up. It was literally the last two weeks of summer that his demeanor and tone changed. There was a lot of combativeness and aggression on his end, and I was very confused.
Planning a wedding is often stressful.
It’s high-stress. [Plus, we were] filming all summer. I think people got in his ear, [but] it’s not normal to call off a wedding because you had a couple of arguments.
Can you share more about the breakup?
It was absolutely humiliating. It would’ve been one thing if this conversation happened over the summer during the normal filming schedule. But for [Carl] to call up producers and then set up cameras and manipulate me into sitting down [so he could break up with me] after we’d already wrapped is scary. The whole world found out within 30 minutes of me.
Who did you turn to for support?
I have the most amazing group of girlfriends who rallied around me. We talked, we cried. And women are detectives, right? So we sat for the first week just, like, psychologically dissecting every bit and piece of this entire breakup.
You and costar Danielle Olivera are close again. Was she there for you as well?
She really has been so incredible in this entire process. I had a great time rebuilding my friendships with different girls in the house, and they were there for me throughout the summer. Whenever something happened with Carl, they were right there to validate me and give advice. It became a story about sisterhood.
How is your relationship with Kyle Cooke, considering he was critical of your and Carl’s relationship?
Kyle has always had it out for me. He thinks that I’m some master manipulator who controls the universe and he’s good friends with Carl. I think part of him wants to give Carl an ally, and part of him just always thinks I’m the one who’s in the wrong. I’m used to it at this point.
Even though your costars questioned your and Carl’s romance, were they just as shocked as you by how it ended?
No one saw it coming, not one person. There were no red flags. Two weeks before he called it off, I was at my bridal shower and he showed up. One week before, I was at my dress fitting and he was fitting for his suits with all of his groomsmen. It had nothing to do with wedding planning. There was no cheating.
Was his sobriety a factor?
No, not at all.
Your Summer House costars had said you were moving too fast. Looking back, do you agree?
No, because when you create a friendship that we had over eight years, you know this person; you know their quirks, flaws and boundaries. You bypass that getting-to-know-you phase.
Was the breakup even harder, considering the history you and Carl had?
That’s the hardest part of it all. And even now, if I have feelings that pop up in my mind or heart, it’s more that I lost my best friend than my fiancé.
Did you leave it up to him to handle the logistics of canceling the wedding?
Correct. Since Carl decided to call off the wedding, he can be responsible for sending the email [to the guests]. Why would it be on me? This was not my decision.
What did you do with the ring?
I gave it to my jeweler to sell it. I need to make up for all the lost money on the wedding.
Are you still at the apartment the two of you shared?
I live there. I love my apartment. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort to make this home comfortable for us, for him to then burn it down. And at this point, I’m not in the mind space to think about, “Oh, where am I gonna live now?”
I’m gonna start writing my book. It’ll be a mixture of career, dating and family [anecdotes]. I’ve got a lot of stories to tell.
Do you have any regrets about your relationship?
No. I absolutely will never have regrets about being with him [and] loving somebody with everything that I have. Every experience, you learn and grow and navigate better the next time.
What has this breakup taught you about yourself?
That I’m stronger than I ever thought, because if I can get through this, then everything else is peanuts to me. I’ve gotten a lot of [messages] from girls saying that it’s an inspiration to see how I’ve put one foot in front of the other to get back out there, starting with the bachelorette trip, which was just three weeks [after the split]. I feel like I’m getting the momentum to find happiness and joy.
You’ve always said you want the happy ending of marriage and kids. Do you still feel that way?
Yes. I will never give up on love. I have a very big heart; I’m not going to shut myself off from somebody else who would appreciate it. [And] in the last month, all I could think was thank God I froze my eggs.
What kind of guy are you looking for?
Somebody ambitious, emotionally intelligent, who makes me laugh, can be intimate with me and lets me be me. I have a lot of friends looking to set me up [and] there’s definitely been some people sliding into my DMs. I’m excited for this new chapter. I think it’s gonna be really good.