“Maybe the wine went to my head. Maybe the weeks of battling the press had worn me down. For some reason, when the conversation took an unexpected turn, I became touchy,” the Duke of Sussex, 38, wrote in his debut memoir, which is set for a Tuesday, January 10, release. “Then angry. Disproportionately, sloppily angry.”
In Spare, Harry alleged that the 41-year-old Suits alum had said something that he “took the wrong way” due to a cultural difference and a language barrier.
“I was also just over-sensitive that night. I thought: ‘Why’s she having a go at me?’ I snapped at her, spoke to her harshly [and] cruelly,” the England native wrote of his wife, whom he married in May 2018. “As the words left my mouth, I could feel everything in the room come to a stop. The gravy stopped bubbling, the molecules of air stopped orbiting. Even Nina Simone seemed to pause.”
The former Hallmark actress — who shares son Archie, 3, and daughter Lilibet, 19 months, with Harry — swiftly walked out the room, with the duke thinking she disappeared for a “full 15 minutes” before he found her sitting alone in their bedroom.
“She was calm, but said in a quiet, level tone that she would never stand for being spoken to like that. I nodded. She wanted to know where it came from,” Harry wrote in Spare, remembering their conversation. “I don’t know. [She asked,] ’Where did you ever hear a man speak like that to a woman? Did you overhear adults speak that way when you were growing up?’ I cleared my throat, looked away [and responded], ‘Yes.’”
While the “Archetypes” podcast host has not publicly addressed the duo’s fight, Harry revealed that she told him that she would not “tolerate” a partner — or coparent — who yelled like he did that night. “She wasn’t going to raise children in an atmosphere of anger or disrespect. She laid it all out, super-clear,” the BetterUp CIO wrote.
Harry further noted that both he and Meghan — who stepped back from their positions as senior working royals in 2020 — “knew” his outburst was not caused by their conversation.
“It came from somewhere deep inside, somewhere that needed to be excavated, and it was obvious that I could use some help with the job,” Harry explained before referencing brother Prince William. “‘I’ve tried therapy,’ I told her. ‘Willy told me to go. Never found the right person.’ [It] didn’t work. ‘No,’ she said softly. ‘Try again.’”
Harry has long been a fervent advocate of therapy and discussing his mental health. “The moment I started doing therapy, it opened my eyes,” he previously said during an October 2022 appearance at the Masters of Scale Summit. “I was moving through life thinking there was only one way to live. And therapy burst that bubble. … All of a sudden, I realized that now I have perspective and a great understanding of my value. I regained confidence that I never thought I had.”
While the former military pilot has found growth in discussing his emotions, he has alleged that his older brother once mocked his anxious tendencies.
“I was an agoraphobe. Which was nearly impossible given my public role. After one speech, which couldn’t be avoided or canceled, and during which I’d nearly fainted, Willy came up to me backstage. Laughing,” Harry claimed in Spare. “‘Harold! Look at you! You’re drenched.’”
The Eton College alum further remembered that he “couldn’t fathom” that his sibling would react in such a way, especially since the 40-year-old Prince of Wales had witnessed Harry’s first panic attack. William has not publicly addressed Harry’s allegations.
Spare will be released on Tuesday, January 10.