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Inside Ben Affleck’s Mindset and Next Steps Amid Jennifer Lopez Marital Woes (Exclusive)

In late June, Ben Affleck appeared on the season 4 premiere of Kevin Hart’s interview series, Hart to Heart. During the nearly hourlong sit-down, Affleck talked at length about the early days of his career before opening up about his wife, Jennifer Lopez. He called her level of fame “f–kin’ bananas” and revealed he much prefers life out of the spotlight. “[I’m] a little bit shy,” he told Hart, adding, “I also don’t like a lot of attention.”

In the following weeks, the fate of Affleck’s two-year marriage to Lopez appeared to be sealed. They put their massive, 12-bedroom, $68 million Beverly Hills mansion on the market in mid-July, and Affleck closed on a more modest $20.5 million home on July 24, coincidentally the same day as Lopez’s 55th birthday, which she celebrated at her Hamptons home without the actor.

Sources exclusively share in the latest Us Weekly cover story that Affleck, 51 — who’s been busy working on The Accountant 2 and a new Netflix thriller with pal Matt Damon — is ready for a fresh start. One in which he hopes to remain a bit more under the radar.

“Ben needed new energy in his life,” says a source, noting that the star’s new home is what he was initially looking for before he and Lopez purchased their estate. “This one is more his speed,” adds the source. “He’s in a better mindset and is pushing forward.”

Ben Affleck 2434 Us Weekly Cover
CLOCKWISE FROM MAIN: GC IMAGES; JOHN CHAPPLE/MEGA; TODD WILLIAMSON/NBC

Facing Reality

Affleck and Lopez had already been living separate lives for some time. After her solo vacation to Italy in late June, she hit the Hamptons while Affleck remained in L.A.

The actor’s purchase of his new five-bedroom pad (which is located close to the home of his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, with whom he shares Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12) may be the final nail in the coffin. A Lopez source confirms that Affleck’s actions caught the singer off guard but says she had her suspicions “[because] he had been living in a rental.” Adds an Affleck source: “Ben moving into a new home was the closure of the relationship.”

Lopez was hoping they could make things work despite their issues. As Us previously reported, their hectic work schedules took a toll on the marriage. “Both have demanding careers that often require them to be in different cities,” a Lopez insider said. (In late May, Lopez — who wrapped her upcoming musical Kiss of the Spider Woman earlier this summer — canceled her 30-date This Is Me…Now Tour. “Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary,” she said at the time.)

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A second insider told Us that Lopez and Affleck were on “different pages” in life, noting that the twosome“don’t have a lot of common ground, and the honeymoon phase has worn off.”

“In a perfect world, Jen would like to make it work with Ben,” a third insider added. “It’s heartbreaking to her and she tried very hard to make it work.”

Jaime Bronstein, a licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting, believes it’s vital that couples be aligned on life goals and says that the only way relationships work the second time around is if both partners have put in the work. “[You have to] learn how to communicate better and talk to each other about what went wrong before so you don’t do the same exact thing,” explains Bronstein, who hasn’t worked with Affleck or Lopez. “Maybe Ben and Jen returned to the same patterns after some time.”

The separation looks to be relatively smooth so far, and Lopez is set to head back to L.A. soon. “Neither of them want this to be dragged out and contentious,” says a fourth source, noting that the stars have a prenup in place. [Their film, Unstoppable, is set to premiere in September] “Ben and Jen are in agreement that they want it to be seamless.”

A fifth source confirms they have a prenup with certain conditions, so if they move forward, it won’t be long and drawn out. “Behind the scenes they have been finalizing what that will look like if they pull the trigger,” explains the fifth source. “Their main goal is to remain amicable.” The Affleck source adds they are in communication.

Ben Affleck
Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic/Getty Images

No Looking Back

Affleck’s been focusing on his well-being. (The actor has been open about his past struggles with drug and alcohol addiction.) “Ben feels like he’s been weighed down this year,” says the first source. “He will always care for Jen, but he knows the marriage is done, and he wants to focus on himself right now.”

A Lopez source says she’s been keeping busy and “taking care of her kids,” Emme and Max, 16 (dad is ex Marc Anthony), who “are her priority.”  “Getting out of L.A. has helped a lot,” the insider noted.

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Affleck has also been spending time with his children and his longtime friend Matt Damon. “Matt has been so supportive throughout this ordeal,” says a fifth source. Their company, Artists Equity, is producing their upcoming film RIP. “Matt’s a great distraction, and he makes Ben laugh.” A sixth source says the Argo director isn’t overly concerned with the optics of the high-profile split: “Ben doesn’t care about the negative attention.”

For more on Ben Affleck, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.

With reporting by Travis Cronin, Sarah Jones, Andrea Simpson & Amanda Williams

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