Already have an account?
Get back to the

‘RHOBH’ Star Erika Jayne Says She Had to ‘Look Inward’ After Losing Tom Girardi as Her ‘Safety Net’ (Exclusive)

Erika Jayne has learned to bet it all on blonde following her split from estranged husband Tom Girardi.

“When you’ve been married to somebody for over two decades, no matter what anybody thinks about the relationship, not having that person there, somebody that did encourage you [and] told you these things were possible, [who] believed in you [when] you didn’t believe in yourself, is hard not to have,” Erika, 52, recently told Us Weekly while promoting her Erika Jayne: Bet It All on Blonde documentary.I sort of said Tom was the safety net, and I was able to stand out there on the highwire and I felt it was OK because somebody believed in me.”

She continued, “Well, when you don’t have that person any longer, you’re looking toward yourself. You have to look inward and you have to be your own safety net and your biggest cheerleader.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star also cited the “good people” around her, including creative director Mikey Minden, mother Renee Chahoy, son Tommy Zizzo “and even the dog” sticking around when “things were not pretty.”

RHOBH Erika Jayne Tom Girardi Divorce Everything We Know So Far

Related: Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi’s Divorce, Legal Woes: Everything We Know

She noted, “But that was really [secondary]. You have to turn inward and you have to become your own safety net.”

Erika filed for divorce from Tom, now 84, in November 2020. One month later, they were both named in a fraud and embezzlement lawsuit and accused of misusing $2 million in settlement funds meant for victims of a plane crash. Erika has asserted that she had no knowledge or involvement in the alleged scandal.

Since the divorce and various ongoing lawsuits, Erika has no longer received financial assistance from former attorney Tom and instead has learned to stand firmly on her own two feet.

RHOBH' Star Erika Jayne Says She Had to ‘Look Inward’ After Losing Tom Girardi as Her ‘Safety Net
Erika Jayne Mindy Small/Getty Images

“You have to really want to move on. You have to really want and stick it out. You got to stick it out because it’s uncomfortable,” Erika explained to Us. “I remember asking my therapist, ‘When does this go away? When does this grief, all of these negative feelings, when does it go away?’ She said, ‘It doesn’t. You have to sit with it and you have to be OK with that. And then you have to pick yourself up and you have to put one foot in front of the other.’ It really is baby step, baby step, baby step. And then those steps become a little bit bigger and bigger.”

Erika has continued to make sure she is living in a “positive space,” which includes cutting off communication with Tom.


Related: Every ‘Real Housewives’ Couple Who Filed for Divorce After Appearing on TV

“The day that I euthanized my dog, the vet and I were here and I was holding him and my phone was ringing and it was Tom and I just said, ‘Yeah, I cannot do this any longer,’” Erika, who put Thiago down in October 2023, told Us. “I blocked [Tom’s] number once and for all [and] I haven’t heard from him since. I lost my dog and there you go, that is where I’m at and that’s what happened.”

Erika further details her post-split new normal in her Bet It All on Blonde documentary about her journey to Las Vegas for her 2023 concert residency of the same name.

Which OG Housewife Do You Want to Return?

“Truthfully, [when I first] watched Bet It All on Blonde … I thought to myself, ‘My God, what was I thinking? Who did I think I was that I could go in here, mount this show and document it at the same time?’” she quipped. “It feels really good. I’m happy to have come this far. I’m happy to have had the chance to start over and go forward, and life is much better than it has been.”

Erika Jayne: Bet It All on Blonde premieres on Bravo Wednesday, March 6, at 9 p.m. ET and will be available to stream on Peacock the next day.

With reporting by Christina Garibaldi

In this article

Got a Tip form close button
Got a tip for US?
We're All Ears for Celebrity Buzz!