“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am,” the singer, 28, told the magazine. “This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, ‘This is a huge sign.’ I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”
“I hooked up with a girl and was like, ‘I like this a lot more.’ It felt better. It felt right,” the two-time Grammy nominee added, noting she feels “too queer” to be in a relationship with a cis man. “Some of the guys I was hanging out with — when it would come time to be sexual or intimate, I would have this kind of visceral reaction. Like, ‘I just don’t want to put my mouth there.’ It wasn’t even based on the person it was with. I just found myself really appreciating the friendships of those people more than the romance, and I didn’t want the romance from anybody of the opposite sex.”
Although Lovato is not ready to define her sexuality yet, she knows her truth.
“I know who I am and what I am, but I’m just waiting until a specific timeline to come out to the world as what I am,” the “Alone” singer shared. “I’m following my healers’ timeline, and I’m using this time to really study and educate myself on my journey and what I’m preparing to do.”
The songwriter also opened up about dating again following the breakup, noting that she takes the blame for the relationship not working out.
“Because I denied my intuition of all the red flags that had popped up, I had no one else to blame but myself,” the actress said. “So I was like, ‘How am I ever going to trust again?’ But really, I was like, ‘Bitch, you should have trusted yourself. If you had trusted yourself, you wouldn’t have ended up in this position.'”
She continued, “My heart is pretty open. I’m very much listening to my intuition, and that’s not to say my boundaries or my guard is up. It’s just saying my ears are perked a little higher and my eyes are open a little wider.”
Lovato will chronicle her struggles with her sobriety and her relationships in the upcoming YouTube documentary, Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil. The first two episodes will debut on her YouTube channel on Tuesday, March 23.