“I’ve realized that whenever I am at a point in my life where I have some big emotions to process, the best thing for me to do is to spend some time alone — other than being with [my dog] Ysa of course, but I truly feel like she is a part of me, so she doesn’t count,” the Dancing With the Stars pro, 37, wrote via Instagram on Sunday, March 6. “If I’m being honest, really feeling my feelings is new to me.”
The ballroom dancer confessed that she’s spent her “entire life up to this point” feeling “numb” to her emotions, and she’s “learning that really going through them is A LOT harder” than she expected.
“There’s the obvious reason it’s hard — that the emotions I’m experiencing right now are complicated and aren’t exactly happy,” she added. “But the less obvious reason is that I’m realizing I have a tendency to judge my own feelings and if I’m with other people, that magnifies. I get so focused on other people’s perception of how I’m dealing with my emotions — which then in turn leads me to question if I am feeling things the ‘right way.'”
While she recognized that she’s not “the only person” who tends to think that way, she also noted that it’s difficult to unlearn that behavior. As she continues to work through her highs and lows, Burke wrote that “being alone for a few days has been the best thing” for her, concluding, “I encourage anyone else out there to try it and not feel guilty for needing that space.”
The former Dance Moms star has been candid about her headspace since filing for divorce from Lawrence, 42, last month. Us Weekly confirmed on February 23 that Burke filed to end the pair’s marriage after nearly three years. According to court docs obtained by Us, the duo separated on January 7 shortly after celebrating the holidays together.
Burke went on to ask her fans for privacy as news of her breakup made headlines, writing via Instagram on February 24, “I know I have always said I’m an open book with you guys, I do strive to be, and in writing this I’ve realized there really isn’t an easy way to announce that my marriage is ending.”
The Boy Meets World alum, for his part, has yet to publicly address the divorce. However, an insider exclusively revealed that “having kids” wasn’t something that the estranged couple disagreed on before calling it quits.
Nearly one year after Burke and Lawrence exchanged vows in May 2019, the twosome told Us that their plans for starting a family were “on pause” amid the COVID-19 crisis.
“We’re just waiting to see what happens because I think we were going to move, we were going to start that next journey,” the actor explained in April 2020. “When this starts to clear out, I think we’ll have a better view or understanding.”
The California native, who has been sober since 2018, chimed in at the time: “I don’t know if being pregnant right now would be ideal for me.”